a moment ago
in the Merivale Mall
my son and I went for food
I’m as biased as any parent
but I tell you he was the picture of cuteness
with his little hand reached full up to mine
his soft wool red hat, his blue zipped-up jacket
with dad holding on he can look anywhere
so he does, look, everywhere

I follow his gazes
his open appreciation of everything
there in the rows of shops, near closing time,
they are empty save for solitary women, at their tills
I wait for them to look back at James and smile
he’s directly in their field of vision
after all, they have nothing else that’s new
but one by one they stare into space
they are seeing nothing but their thoughts
this day’s profits and losses, small victories, smaller sleights
the dinner still to do, husbands and children, friends and interests
I know they are worthy topics to while away the hours
but why, when love and wonder look full at them
can they not take a moments rest?
they look so tortured by tiredness, so absent

James doesn’t care
he totters past, equally unmoved
as for me, this wrenching, tearing sensation
in the middle of my chest is so familiar